Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Still the Same Star

Here she is - those beautiful sparking blue eyes and silly grin. She's wearing her favorite beach hat from the kite shop at Jockey's Ridge and her favorite t-shirt that says "Sophie's Beauty Hut" on the back.
And I LOVE this girl soo much.

She is still the same sweet girl she was before being diagnosed with Type I Diabetes yesterday.

But I am different. And the choices we'll make as a family are different; from what to eat, to where to live. I am amazed how quickly all of the things I used to concern myself with have dissappeared in an instant. And how issues that didn't concern me yesterday have parked themselves right smack in the middle of my world. I find my ignorance of this disease and ambivalence toward stem cell research embarrassing now. Amazed at what I took for granted just yesterday. More grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ than ever.

I finally fell asleep last night after forcing myself not to think of all the ways our lives have been changed, literally overnight. Or asking the inevitable questions, "Why?", 'why her?", 'why our family?', "why now with all of the changes she is already dealing with by virtue of her tender age?" 'was it because she inherited my screwy overactive immune system that turned on her own beta cells?" "Could we have done anything differently?" These questions don't help.
I have to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and for her, and, whether we like it or not, this is part of it.

My stomach is still churning and my hands tremble as I write this, but I do it in hopes that it will be like therapy for me - as writing my thoughts often has been a comfort for me. Potential titles to this post floated in my brain as I sat inthe ER yesterday with my girl: 'This changes Everything', 'What a difference a day makes,' etc.

But ultimately this is the right one. She is still the same smart, shy, silly, fun loving, Nancy Drew obsessed girl. She is still a star on the stage of our family's lives.


Gina said...

I just love you!
I'll be waiting to hear of a way that would help brighten your day. A trip to the grocery store? A meal? A ride somewhere? A playdate? You let me know.

Amy said...

Kori, what beautiful thoughts. It is a blessing to you that you can see the big picture in this sudden change in your lives. My family is fasting today for all of you, especially Sophie. Haylie said that she wants to fast past lunch which is a miracle right there. I am praying for blessing to be showered down on all of you. I wish I lived closer to be of some physical help, just know that we are praying often today and will continue to keep you in our prayers. Just keep breathing, and take it a day at a time.
Love to you and your family.

c said...

i am sorry to hear this.
i am not too sure what Type I Diabetes is...i will look it up!

i am so sorry for your baby to be sick at all!!!

if you need to talk....just call or write me!